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19

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When I turned 18 it felt like a conquest.

I could finally get a driver licence – which I haven’t got until now. I could finally drink legally – which I had already done, but never legally. I could enter that cool club without a fake I.D. – which I never got asked for, curiously, after I turned 18. I could leave the country without having to ask for permission, a could rebel, I could even end up in jail – none of which I did, because I am by definition a nice person. But now I could. And that’s more important than anything, right? The only was in which I took advantage of my new status as an ‘adult’ ( but honestly, that really is just a term, because how the hell am I an adult when I still have phosphorescent constellations on my walls and a huge poster with Johnny Depp on my door, that will never come down ) was to get a tattoo done. Of course, I could have asked for my parents’ signatures, but now I didn’t have to. So, in a way, I took as much as I could from all those newly discovered perks. Oh, and I got a summer job – only for those over 18, okay? AND a really cool credit card, that got me to spend like a maniac. ( quick notice here: credit cards – really dangerous. Seems like you have tons of money and then you have to pay 3 euros for a snack at Paul and the waiter tells you you’re card is empty… )

When I’ll turn 20, it’ll be a change.

And it’s there, you know, it’s visible. You change the prefix. You are officially cool. You are the new generation. Or, at least that’s how I imagine it. Twenty is nice. It’s a milestone, it has a nice ring to it. You’re definitely not a child anymore, at 20, but you can still get your mom to help you out, because you’re a newbie to the real world.

But today I turned 19.

It’s such a weird age, if you ask me. I feel like I haven’t even got an age at all. Actually, I feel like those depressed middle-aged women, because now I am the oldest teenager – not cool enough to wander with teenagers ( not that I would ever want to relieve that experience ever again ) and not old enough to be taken seriously by adults. I don’t even know what to do with my age. I can enjoy all the perks of 18, but they got a little dust on them now, because time already passed and I have been able to be all grown up for a year now. Plus, there are no songs for this age ( feel free to contradict me and suggest a really cool playlist, but the point is, there are no super-known songs for this age) because, probably, even the always imagining lyricists have nothing to say about it. By all means, let’s just all wait for that change of prefix, or be nostalgic about the freshness of adulthood.

However you see it, 19 is nothing but a longer while to reach your feared and hopeful twenties.

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