Tag Archives: smile

Some thoughts..

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If there’s anything I’ve learned in my few years of life is not to be afraid of who I am. There are so few people that can really speak their mind nowadays, mostly because they are embarrassed and that is simply wrong. 

I was very shy as a child. I used to hide under the table when guests came over and pretend I was invisible, because I didn’t want to talk to them. I am shy now, as well, which is very often perceived by people as arrogance. I am not a people person, mainly because I enjoy being on my own, I like to lose time inside my own mind ( which, frankly, more people should do) and I find social chatting exhausting. However I do get lonely, and that is what my few friends are for. I will only make the first move if a person really interests me, otherwise I’m pretty quiet. My mother always told me that this is not a bad thing and I should embrace who I am, what I am, because if I don’t get myself, no one ever will, and I know she is never wrong. She goes as far as to be proud of having a rather ‘strange’ (as she puts it) kid.

I think it is important to take some time for yourself, too. Call it meditation, or thinking, or however you want, but being on your own, just discovering yourself can be extremely fascinating. There is so much that you don’t know about who you are, things that are so interesting to find out, that you should know. Just as you leave some time to meet your friends for a coffee, put some time aside to meet with your own thoughts. Wander around your mind, read books that change your perspective on the world, listen to music, analyze your dreams, do things that make you happy.There’s only one you in this entire universe, and if you don’t think that is spectacular, you are so wrong.

Because, if there’s one thing I learned is to appreciate my own self and accept and appreciate the diversity of people around me. Surround myself with other types of people, people that will challenge me, help me grow and people that will bring out the best in me. That is the only way to find happiness, in the friends that laugh with you and in your own infinite mind. 

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Before I’m 17

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I have no idea where my sweet sixteen year has gone. I think I mostly slept through it, which wouldn’t be unlike me.
However, here I am, the last day of being 16 ever. Creepy.
I don’t really care about ‘getting older’ at this moment, because in the morning I know I won’t feel any different. I’m just in for the cake.
But I am proud of this year. I made fabulous friends, I finally, finally went to a French course, I improved my piano playing, I read the whole SH collection ( give me some credit, it was pretty huge ), I discovered Hannibal, I even learned how to make a Caesar salad – not from Hannibal the cannibal, though.
There are things I didn’t get to do, of course, but there’s a lot of time ahead. A lot of days and hours and minutes ready to be filled with fantastic stuff ( like sleeping).
So come on, 17, let’s see what you’ve got.

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Happiness

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I was so deceived today to walk past the central square and realize that the Christmas market is closed. It’s obvious that is was closed, I just… Expected it to still be there. I’m very bad at saying goodbye to Christmas. Even undoing the tree, it gives me a sad feeling.
Do you know when you are going somewhere, and you’ve waited so long, but all you can think about on the way is: This just lasts two weeks. In two weeks I will be just as miserable as I am now .
You’d say you are so happy to go away, but that’s not real happiness. I hears something very wise, coming from a rather naive character:

DOUGLAS: No, Arthur, you are cheery. No one’s interested in the secret of true cheeriness.

ARTHUR: But that’s not true. I’m fairly often just completely happy. Like, for instance, when you get into a bath quickly and it’s just the right temperature, and you go “ooooh”. I mean really no one gets any happier than that.

MARTIN: What a depressing thought.

ARTHUR: No, no, it’s not though, because those sort of things happen all the time, whereas you’re hardly ever, you know, blissfully happy with the love of your life in the moonlight, and when you are, you’re too busy worrying about it being over soon, whereas the bath moments, there’s loads of those! Oh, like when you realise your knuckles are ready for cracking.

DOUGLAS: What?

(ARTHUR cracks his knuckles. MARTIN and DOUGLAS make disgusted noises.)

ARTHUR: See, I was happy then! Oh, wait, I’ve got another one!

Now, for those of you who don’t know, this is a Cabin Pressure quote. Yes, I’m a fan of the radio series, especially for moments like these.

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Meretricious…and a happy New Year!

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MERRY CHRISTMAS, PEOPLE!!

My favourite holiday of the year has come. Finally. And will be gone soon. This one day of 25 December seems to last the least of all, doesn’t it? And to make it as long as I can, I have spent it at home, laying around, doing sort of a movie marathon. Because, I doubt there is a better way of spending Christmas Day if not watch Love Actually with your whole family, right? What more could you want? You have Snape, John Watson, Mr. Bean and Mr. Darcy packed up in one adorable romantic comedy. Not to mention, Hugh Grant comes as a bonus.
Finally, I dragged my mother to watch Small Island with me and convinced my dad to watch The tale of Desperaux.
So my day has been…rather prolific I could say. Three more days listening to Christmas carols and then..puff. It’s gone. Christmas is over as soon as it started.

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Sprite fills in for Vodka.

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Yesterday night I went to a high school prom. All around me I could see teenagers smoking, drinking, dancing. I was so bored the half of the party. I considered many times to call my dad to take me home, but my best friend wanted to stay.
Now, you have to understand that I hate crowds and that I am a little claustrophobic. A little more. So there I was in a crowd of hundreds of drunken teenagers, fearing for my life. ( not really, but…). Half the time I would look at everyone and judge all the kids there.
God, you are so stupid. I want to go home. What am I doing here? I shouldn’t be here. I want to stay on tumblr.
I couldn’t have a drink, because my stomach is a stupid fuck, so all i could drink was one Sprite. However, I am so glad I stayed.
Because the second half was amazing. A guy I adore sang and I got an autograph and a kiss and I was front row at the next band that performed.

A good start for a weekend, right? Stay tuned, and later I’ll come up with ideas how to spend a fun weekend 🙂

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I’m Van Gogh

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Because tomorrow is my birthday the previous night I had a little sleepover with two friends. Funny enough three 16 year old girls ( we like to call ourselves mature from time to time ) ended up watching Ice Age while eating bacon and Pringles until 4 am in the morning.
Ok, it was fun. More than I’ve had in a while. We played games without STOPING and listened to Muse and The Kooks. So I could say my birthday was pretty good.
My mom couldn’t understand why I don’t want a party to invite more people, and I didn’t really know how to explain her that I don’t feel comfortable around so many people. Maybe it’s just me.

Anyway. If you ever have a sleepover I made a list of some activities you can do, after my own experience.

1. Play cards. Whoever loses must receive a dare.
Dare ideas ( we did those ) :
Cinnamon challenge ( eat a spoon full of cinnamon ).
Call someone and tell them the rules of monopoly.
Karaoke your favourite song.
Recite dramatically a poem.
Run outside singing ‘Baby’ by Justin Bieber.
Name all dwarves from Snow White in 30 sec. Those you couldn’t name will be written on you.
Eat cake without using your hands.
Put makeup on another person. blindfolded.
2. Watch a cartoon movie. ( or any movie, but those are more fun )
3. Game. You must write a known person, or a fictional one, on a piece of paper and stick it to the forehead of the player to your left. Stay in a circle all of you and try to guess who you are by asking Yes/No questions.

Those would be some ideas, but have fun discovering games you like, as well.

Have fun!!
🎉🎉

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