Aaah. Summer has totally kicked in and I finally surrender to its power. The wind brings hot breezes, the tables in the coffee houses are full with cold frappes, the only weapon we still have. I can only escape the house in the evenings, when I’m not completely melting away. Right now I am sitting at this utterly amazing italian restaurant and it feels like holiday. The sun had gone to sleep and the people crept out of their cribs. Everyone’s chattering around, looking on a device or enjoying the jazz music in the background. A young kid is selling red roses for the ladies and the smell is heavenly. The streets are completely crowded, leaving almost no space to the youngsters that have finally abandoned their virtual life for the city. Now, back at my sweet decaf frappe…
It is said that highschool is the best part of our lives; that it doesn’t get any better than that. I hopefully believe they are wrong. Whoever said that had obviously never attended one. At least not one like mine. I am sure that the memories we live as highschool students are unique and worth to be cherished years after that, butI wouldn’t call it ” the best “. Why? Well, highschool is a really tough period. You deal with spoiled kids and bored teachers that are unable to entertain themselves, and therefore unable to interest the kids. Of course, the friendships you make may distress you for a little while and some even meet their first love. However these four years are difficult. The stress can sometimes get overwhelming, you go through sadness and anxiety. At least I do, sometimes. That doesn’t mean I don’t cherish highschool. I want to remember it as the sweet time when weekends were always busy, when everything was fun and easy, when I was antisocial, when I met my bestfriends, when I still had hope.
So basically I have a new obsession. I’ve always misunderstood this fan girl thing but it has finally hit me. I am officially a Sherlockian. I watched every episode some even twice. Than the stalking started. On the Internet, in newspapers. And than, of course, the day-dreaming, where I am Sherlock’s assistant and I help him finish his work. I have every symptom, don’t I? I am a fan girl. And the only thing that can cure me now is the season 3. I need that season 3.
However it’s pretty clear to me that I have been forever sherlocked.
So basically, I’m learning how to play the piano. I am just a beginner and I don’t know where this passion for this instrument will lead me. I wish I could say that one day I’ll be singing the piano for a living and that I’ll become famous but I can’t. Because maybe tomorrow I’ll hate it. Maybe the sound of it will make me sick. I have no idea whether I have talent or I suck at playing piano. All I know is that today I love it. I love listening to the sweet sound of it. I love just hearing it. I love playing music on it. Today I’m in love with my piano. Every sound delights me and makes me shine. I could stay the whole day playing and just fantasizing about absolutely nothing. Just me and the sweetest sound on earth…
The library of books opened up in front of me. The shelves were huge, up to the ceiling, thousands of books were awaiting me. A lifetime of dreaming and fantasizing, a library of worlds. Nothing could ever be more appealing to me. The smell of old pages was fascinating and enchanting, the secrets each of the books were hiding were empowering. I had never felt like that ever in my life before. The world was mine.I had been given the key to eternal happiness, the key to everyones dreams. Life could never be boring again. I was just staying in front of millions of friends I was going to meet, destinies going to be crushed and lovers going to be reunited. I was… Amazed. Suddenly I realized I was afraid. Afraid of losing such a huge treasure, afraid it would suddenly dissapear, afraid of the real world. And my fear was justified. The infinity of books were fading away, disappearing into nowhere. The pain was crushing me. Someone was stealing everything away from me. It was morning. The dream was gone, my real life interrupted my paradise.
So, today as you all probably know, everyone is celebrating Valentines. I don’t want to sound cynical or unromantic or anything else, but I find this 14 th of February kind of a non-sense, stupid celebration. The couples that are really in love should not wait for a specific day to show their love. It is stupid, not romantic, not original, not even cute. Why do you have to wait for a certain date in the calendar to be told what to do? Plus many people out there are all alone, or suffering for love and you go around all day : “Oh I love my boyfriend so much!” , “Oh I’m so lucky”, “Oh “…I’m such an ignorant bitch! On Valentines Day, it is Saint Valentine so you celebrate those called that way and period.
On the other hand I have nothing against couples or love. I am actually quit romantic and I adore love stories. But if you really love someone you shouldn’t wait until today to express it. You can do with your boyfriend your own Valentine, on a specific day. That way you are original, romantic and actually sweet.
Today I wanted to feel like the pavement in my backyard. So, given the fact that the snow outside was really high I lay down and started doing little angels in the snow. As i lay down I felt a strange joy for that magic peaceful moment. I lay there, without moving. The snowflakes were tickling my face and the moment seemed to never end. I never wanted it to end anyways. I lay down there and completely fell asleep. Like if I closed my eyes everything would disappear. It never felt better to waste time. To completely do absolutely nothing and yet be so amazed. It gave me a certain feeling that I can’t describe. What I’m positive about, is that for one moment, one single second I felt incredible.